Final Post on Building Community
Developing community is sometimes messy. Eugene Peterson writes:
Community is intricate and complex. Living in community as a
people of God is inherently messy. A congregation consists of
many people of various moods, ideas, needs, experiences, gifts
and injuries, desires and disappointments, blessing and losses,
intelligence and stupidity, living in proximity and in respect
for one another, and believingly in worship of God. It is not easy
and it is not simple. Not every situation can be anticipated.
This is why it is so critical to learn to love. If we are serious about loving God, then we must love people, especially those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Love sincerely desires and acts to promote the best spiritual interests of the other person. We must devote ourselves to each other. Paul explained that this was Jesus’ attitude toward others, and that we should emulate it (Philippians 2:1-4). To love one another is simply to obey the law of Christ’s kingdom, treating people as Jesus treated them. In order to love one another, we must learn to see people as through God’s eyes. We must see the value in them.
Love changes people, including ourselves. Love creates change from the inside out. Our responsibility is to love one another as Jesus loves us. We can love because we are loved perfectly and fully by God. Love draws us to Christ; it gives power to our lives; and it brings glory to God. As we learn to love one another unconditionally without self-protection, we move toward the reality of abundant living in Christ and real community. Our community is measured by the depth and quality of our relationships through Christ.
There are often hard to handle issues in our soul that keep us from relating to others deeply and constructively, and it is easier for us to ignore them, and cover them up with social courtesies and politically appropriate language. We then, allow superficial behavior to suffice as a barometer of spiritual health. Yet superficial behavior and relationships divert attention away from the troubling realities that exist within our soul. Superficiality helps us get by spiritually because we think that conforming our behavior to whatever standards we set creates spirituality. Such a life is not derived from the love of Christ, is largely external, and accentuates isolation rather than community.
It can be argued that every personal or behavioral problem one might wish to change (bad temper, perverted sexual desires, depression, anxiety, overeating) results ultimately from violations of the command to love. If that is true, then learning to love is not only necessary for spiritual maturity, but also central to overcoming psychological problems. When we are convinced that every problem in life, both between people and within the individual, reflects a misunderstanding or misapplication of relationships that violates God’s standard of love, and when we see that learning to love requires far more than moral effort, then perhaps we will be willing to take an honest look inside ourselves to see whether we really love God and love others.
Community must involve at its core a shift in direction away from dependence on one’s own resources for life to dependence on God. We should change in our approach to relationships. We should love one another as Christ loves, and then we will experience true life change in community. Love rules in Jesus’ church! Jesus said the world will know whether we are His disciples by the way we love one another.
Community is intricate and complex. Living in community as a
people of God is inherently messy. A congregation consists of
many people of various moods, ideas, needs, experiences, gifts
and injuries, desires and disappointments, blessing and losses,
intelligence and stupidity, living in proximity and in respect
for one another, and believingly in worship of God. It is not easy
and it is not simple. Not every situation can be anticipated.
This is why it is so critical to learn to love. If we are serious about loving God, then we must love people, especially those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Love sincerely desires and acts to promote the best spiritual interests of the other person. We must devote ourselves to each other. Paul explained that this was Jesus’ attitude toward others, and that we should emulate it (Philippians 2:1-4). To love one another is simply to obey the law of Christ’s kingdom, treating people as Jesus treated them. In order to love one another, we must learn to see people as through God’s eyes. We must see the value in them.
Love changes people, including ourselves. Love creates change from the inside out. Our responsibility is to love one another as Jesus loves us. We can love because we are loved perfectly and fully by God. Love draws us to Christ; it gives power to our lives; and it brings glory to God. As we learn to love one another unconditionally without self-protection, we move toward the reality of abundant living in Christ and real community. Our community is measured by the depth and quality of our relationships through Christ.
There are often hard to handle issues in our soul that keep us from relating to others deeply and constructively, and it is easier for us to ignore them, and cover them up with social courtesies and politically appropriate language. We then, allow superficial behavior to suffice as a barometer of spiritual health. Yet superficial behavior and relationships divert attention away from the troubling realities that exist within our soul. Superficiality helps us get by spiritually because we think that conforming our behavior to whatever standards we set creates spirituality. Such a life is not derived from the love of Christ, is largely external, and accentuates isolation rather than community.
It can be argued that every personal or behavioral problem one might wish to change (bad temper, perverted sexual desires, depression, anxiety, overeating) results ultimately from violations of the command to love. If that is true, then learning to love is not only necessary for spiritual maturity, but also central to overcoming psychological problems. When we are convinced that every problem in life, both between people and within the individual, reflects a misunderstanding or misapplication of relationships that violates God’s standard of love, and when we see that learning to love requires far more than moral effort, then perhaps we will be willing to take an honest look inside ourselves to see whether we really love God and love others.
Community must involve at its core a shift in direction away from dependence on one’s own resources for life to dependence on God. We should change in our approach to relationships. We should love one another as Christ loves, and then we will experience true life change in community. Love rules in Jesus’ church! Jesus said the world will know whether we are His disciples by the way we love one another.
Terry,
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking us through these ideas about building community in the church. It's so essential, and so basic to who we are as Christ followers.
In this post, I believe you have hit the nail on the proverbial head! The reason we struggle with building community is that we have built up walls of ego-defensive layers that hinder true understanding and genuine relationships of trust, love and accountability. A church that you and I are familiar with made the kind of shift in relationships that you speak of in this post. But, it only happened after the preacher disclosed that his wife had been unfaithful in their marriage and they were working through a tough time together. He asked the church for their support as the couple worked through their marital issues. This example of transparency and open and honest leadership led to a radical transformation in the church--people started owning up to their own issues and problems. The masks came off, and real relationships were developed. And, as you and I know, that church has become a beacon to hurting people.
Unfortunately, a church with leaders who are uncomfortable with this kind of transparency and vulnerability will never set the kind of example this minister set for his church family. In churches where elderships are governing boards, rubber-stamping the agenda of the preacher, the minister can't really take the lead in setting the tone for transparency and open/honest relationships unless the elders are just as transparent and open. In churches where the elders are ministering shepherds, partners with the lead minister in doing the work of edifying and equipping the saints for ministry, then the preacher may be able to take the lead and set the tone with the support of the elders. It always comes back to leadership. Who is the church looking to for leadership? What is the vision of the church? What kind of church are we? Those in elder/deacon/preacher roles are the ones who must answer these questions. If we are going to be a church where transparency, open and honest relationships and support are supported and welcomed, then it will be the result of leaders taking us there. All of the posts on your blog help us envision what a 'community of believers' could be like. But, only leaders who have caught this vision can get us there. Perhaps, we might first start building community by praying for Godly leaders with a heart for community!
peace and all good, ryan
Oh man, I see the Holy Spirit all in this post! Amen & Amen!
ReplyDeleteWe can only be loved as much as we are known. (I think that is a quote of someone) So transparency is vital to a deep love & safety is vital to transparency & the knowledge of GRACE is vital to safety.
I see it like this:
KNOWLEDGE OF GRACE > SAFETY > TRANSPARENCY > DEEPER LOVE
And Ryan, you are so right, it should start with the leadership of our churches.
The example that you told of where the preacher & his wife confessed of the sin of adultery and asked their church for support, I have been witness to the same exact story but (I'm pretty sure) it is a different church family than you speak of. And the exact same result happened. The whole church became more transparent & experiences a deeper love for one another.
GLORY TO GOD!
Thanks, Terry, Ryan & Kathleen! I am so thankful that Jesus showed us how to connect with and include people in our communities with transparency, safety, and honesty! The "average human" way is to connect & build pseudo-community with people like us - those with shared interests, station in life, etc. I think of this as "bonding." While bonding is good and right, the Jesus way seems to go beyond bonding to "bridging" - building community among people despite great differences. In fact it seems to me that the community Jesus built included those with whom the established religious "community" of His day refused to accept. I think of the example of the sinful woman at Simon the Pharisee's house. She neither hid nor denied her past, was willing to take great social risk to be with Jesus, and was totally transparent with her love for Jesus. But Simon, on the other hand...
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the great posts about Community. I believe that genuine Christian community done the Jesus way is "heaven on earth."
Praise the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who are the greatest manifestation of one-ness!
Steve
Amen, Steve! Praise the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! God is good!
ReplyDelete