Living From Another Source
I hope he doesn't mind, but I have copied and reposted a comment from mp that I hope will generate further discussion:
I find that we like to talk about the disciplines & we are fascinated by their effects to some degree, but our practice often collapses into compulsion. Our practice of the disciplines often becomes just another compulsive category of our lives—we desire compulsively, we eat compulsively, we work compulsively, and, when we come to the disciplines, we find that they too can be another fuel to keep our compulsive engines running. Feeling down? Eat. Feeling worthless? Work. Feeling dry? Fantasize. Feeling bored? Watch a movie. Feeling “not good enough”? Pray, Read, Fast, Serve…
What would life look like without compulsion? What if we could live from a different source? What if “fountains of living water” from the Spirit is a reality we can enjoy? If so, it must involve escaping the cycles of compulsion—the roller coaster of our lives. Living from another Source implies the formation of a unique, “hand-crafted” soul. With the Spirit as our guide, our lives will likely involve different combinations of the disciplines. However, to follow Him, we must be willing to go beyond our compulsive cycles to exhibit the “strange” behavior of a disciple….our time “in the desert”, our nights “on the mountain”…and, in a society where we don’t learn how to meditate, wait in prayer, or fast, we typically need to develop a few skills in preparation for moving with the life of God… we need the skills typically before we can envision a “soulish” life / life with God…this is where “training programs” & focused retreats come in…tearing down the walls of compulsion and opening the paths of skill to let the water flow…
mp
I find that we like to talk about the disciplines & we are fascinated by their effects to some degree, but our practice often collapses into compulsion. Our practice of the disciplines often becomes just another compulsive category of our lives—we desire compulsively, we eat compulsively, we work compulsively, and, when we come to the disciplines, we find that they too can be another fuel to keep our compulsive engines running. Feeling down? Eat. Feeling worthless? Work. Feeling dry? Fantasize. Feeling bored? Watch a movie. Feeling “not good enough”? Pray, Read, Fast, Serve…
What would life look like without compulsion? What if we could live from a different source? What if “fountains of living water” from the Spirit is a reality we can enjoy? If so, it must involve escaping the cycles of compulsion—the roller coaster of our lives. Living from another Source implies the formation of a unique, “hand-crafted” soul. With the Spirit as our guide, our lives will likely involve different combinations of the disciplines. However, to follow Him, we must be willing to go beyond our compulsive cycles to exhibit the “strange” behavior of a disciple….our time “in the desert”, our nights “on the mountain”…and, in a society where we don’t learn how to meditate, wait in prayer, or fast, we typically need to develop a few skills in preparation for moving with the life of God… we need the skills typically before we can envision a “soulish” life / life with God…this is where “training programs” & focused retreats come in…tearing down the walls of compulsion and opening the paths of skill to let the water flow…
mp
“I am wondering if there is a way to do the disciplines that might look like "compulsion" but that is actually living more in tune with the Spirit?”
ReplyDelete“Are you saying there are certain discplines ("a few skills" ex. "meditate, wait in prayer or fast") that we should be practicing continuously before we vary the others?”
I’ll start with the second question...in a somewhat indirect approach.
I don’t want to pretend to be an expert on the matter, but let me use a crude analogy that mirrors my own experience with spiritual disciplines….weightlifting. When I began weightlifting, I did not go out and say, “yea, I really like bench press & curls. That’s what works for me. So I’ll do lots of bench press & curls. I don’t really need the other stuff.” Nor did I come to the gym each day and say, “well, what do I feel like doing today?” I didn’t come to the gym for my first workout and say, “I’m just gonna go with my instincts.” I did program after program & developed workouts that drew from a variety of sources. I worked out with a personal trainer and followed his program. I worked out with a football team & followed their program. I worked out with the LA Tech Powerlifting team and followed their program. I worked out with some folks who were great bench pressers & followed their program. I did personal training under one of the greatest “benchers” of all time. I followed an old Green Bay Packers program. I read parts of Supertraining and learned from Russian lifting methods. I read some of Arnold’s stuff & a variety of other “popular” lifting approaches, and implemented their training methods at times. I learned from the “old school” strongmen & lifters, especially of the early 1900s, and implemented some of their key ideas. I could keep going to the point of boredom…if you’re not already there… Today I typically implement a goal-based approach which typically draws from various sources of my learning…and I continue to learn from & implement programs that I find/study … The difference between now and when I started is that I do have “a feel” for what I need. I know “when to which” like Big Daddy would say. I know when to quit, when to go lighter, when to go heavier, when to do partials, when to do full range of motion, when to work a weak point….I have a feel for “what needs more work” and “what kind of work it needs”...but this "feel" was developed after years of being guided by others.
Why is it that, when it comes to spiritual growth, we often feel that we need no mentors? Why is that we don’t think we need to be guided along a path of development before we go off “on our own”? Do we recognize that living the “with-God life" involves a deep reservoir of skills & strength?...cont’d
In the Powerlifting community, people are often anxious to join up with and learn from those who have excelled, whether it occurs through group training or personal training. No doubt, we see a similar phenomenon in the scriptures: the prophets joining with other prophets & clinging to the leading prophets, the followers of John the Baptist joining him in the wilderness, & the followers of Jesus in their anxious readiness saying “Teacher, where are you staying?”
ReplyDeleteWithout going into further detail for the sake of length here, the question ~“Are there certain disciplines we should practice first?” & other related questions are somewhat mis-directed. The only approach with proven effectiveness that I know of is one in which we throw ourselves at Jesus by eagerly latching on to the guidance of someone or some small group that you trust due to their example & experience in following Jesus……and this very likely will resemble a “program”… Some of us have been mentored by authors & their written programs. In fact, I am excited about beginning the Apprentice Series by James Bryan Smith. However, it is hard to overestimate the importance of personal mentoring…taking the control out of “my hands”…& the impact that the limited mentoring which I have experienced has had on my life and the impact that it has had throughout church history. I appreciated Ryan’s comments on the garden analogy & the grace of God. It is important to keep in mind, at the same time, that it is a community garden. Following “community leaders” is a critical part of positioning ourselves to receive the grace of God. May God raise up leaders strong & skilled in guidance, & may He raise up disciples ready & eager to follow a leader.
…Once we have followed for a while, knowing “when to which” begins to become instinctive & the freedom of the Spirit begins to be a reality which we experience.
“I am wondering if there is a way to do the disciplines that might look like "compulsion" but that is actually living more in tune with the Spirit?”
ReplyDeleteThe short answer is yes from an outsider’s perspective. However, I consider this to be a very difficult question—really coming to terms with what is a compulsion in my life—to distinguish the burning desire to love & experience the presence of the Lord from a compulsion to feel like a good person or other similar sentiments.
I basically consider compulsion, in this context, to be a repeated, irrational motive—not a motive that flows from one’s core values or careful forethought. It is typically something that a person does impulsively on a regular basis, but he or she does not evaluate the motivating reasons behind the action. Instead it flows from a defect of the will—a cycle of “pain” and temporary “remedy”. The individual often mis-labels the motivating factors in order to sustain a sense of rationality. Coming to terms with the compulsion in one’s own life typically requires silence and solitude, with meditation following close beside…and prayer flowing sporadically, erupting from the experience… This process requires us to go to inner places of painful honesty. I have seen people repeatedly come to these points and turn away rather than face the pain. Even in the best situations, it is normally not a one-time fix-all.
It is a move as Bradshaw calls it from a “human-doing” to a “human-being”, and there is no easy way forward…and even Bradshaw seems to leave large gaps in his solution…
I don’t mean to mis-direct the question, but exposing the compulsions in one’s life typically does not happen by immediate observation. Compulsions often are deeply entrenched in the psyche of each individual, and attempts at escape often lead us to become more confused & to believe more lies about why these activities are in our lives in the first place. The only reliable way forward that I know of begins with placing ourselves before God in extended periods of time alone. Two writers who have captured this beautifully are Ruth Barton & Henry Nouwen. {I would like to hear Ryan C's perspective on this…}
Ruth Barton, who co-founded the Transforming Center which counsels in spiritual formation & leadership development, writes:
ReplyDeleteWhen we have been stripped of external distraction, we face the fact that the deepest level of chaos is inside us, at our very core. In this place we are buffeted by all manner of questions and emotions. …(like)
Am I really worth anything if I’m not out there constantly proving myself? Who am I when I am not busy doing things that tell the world who I am? Why is it so hard to stop the frantic pace of my life even when I know it’s hurting me and those I love? What do I do with this pain and sadness? What is true and real in my relationship with God and what is merely illusion—things I would like to believe are true but really aren’t? Is God really enough to satisfy the loneliness, the emptiness, the longing of my soul?
…When these questions came for the first time, I had to face the fact that much of my hard work and service up to that point had been driven by an effort to please others and prove my worth to them—particularly those in positions of authority. Over time I became aware that even though I had a sincere desire to serve God, there was also a compulsive need to prove myself that resulted in driven-ness and constant over-commitment…
Henry Nouwen, the renowned author who wrote over 40 books on spiritual life, writes:
ReplyDelete“solitude is not a private therapeutic place. Rather it is the place of conversion, the place where the old self dies and the new self is born…In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: no friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me—naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken—nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something…I try to run from the dark abyss of my nothingness and restore my false self in all its vainglory. The task is to persevere in my solitude, to stay in my cell until all my seductive visitors get tired of pounding on my door and leave me alone…The struggle is real because the danger is real. It is the danger of living the whole of our life as one long defense against the reality of our condition.”
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life" (Jn 14:6). He has life in Himself, just as the Father has life in Himself. God is the source of life. Jesus is the light and life of all men. In His sted, the Holy Spirit is the life source of the church. Just as the body without the spirit is dead, so too, the Holy Spirit is the life principle of the body of Christ.
ReplyDeleteTrue life, eternal life is found only in Jesus. In Jesus, the Holy Spirit dwells in us. God is the only One who truly meets our deepest needs. He created us in His own image. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
In solitude, silence, fasting, prayer, and study, we uncover the deepest recesses of our souls, which in turn, lead us to the desperate realization of our need for God. Until we come to grips with who we really are, instead of pretending, covering up, and justifying our actions, we will never truly be changed by God.
When we are changed from the inside out, having God through His Spirit, heal our deepest flaws, wounds, and meet our souls longing, we are empowered to better deal with the changing and unpredictable circumstances and human relationships. Instead of our own efforts to fix relationships, or change or satisfy our cravings by looking at everything other than God to satisfy us, we are able through His Spirit to trust in the true Source of life to find meaning, acceptance, assurance, love, joy, peace, and hope.
ReplyDeleteSome of the comments about learning from others and getting into a small group or community where you can grow is really connecting with my readings for a course I'm taking this summer on "Leading Individuals and Groups in Spiritual Growth." All the required books for this course are about Spiritual direction (spiritual mentoring is the term I like the best). The format for spiritual mentoring can be one-to-one or in small groups. In protestant evangelical circles, the one-to-one kind of spiritual direction, where a director meets with a directee for direction, is a bit to authoritarian and hierarchical. So, you just don't see it done that way. Instead, we see a 'friendship' style of mentoring. I thought I would just share a beautiful evaluation of this relationship and the process from one of the books on my required reading list (Spiritual Mentoring: A guide for seeking and giving direction, by Anderson & Reese).
ReplyDeleteFive Dynamics of Spiritual Mentoring:
1. Attraction: initiating and establishing the mentoring relationship, which includes the phase of attraction
2. Relationship: nurturing a hospitable relationship of trust and intimacy
3. Responsiveness: sustaining the dynamic of teachability through development of responsiveness in the mentoree
4. Accountability: refining growth in the mentoree through specific disciplines of accountability
5. Empowerment: releasing the mentoree for continued growth through an empowered awareness of intimacy with God, identity as a child of God and a unique voice for kingdom responsibility
Anderson & Reese's book elaborates and unfolds the basis, rational and method of these five dynamics. I will say this: We often think of teacher-student in our spiritual growth programming. The concept of spiritual mentoring or direction is triadic, involving the mentoree, the mentor and God the Holy Spirit. The mentor may teach some, may listen to the mentoree some, but primarily he/she will listen to God, and how God is working in the life of the mentoree. It's just a completely different approach to helping others in their spiritual growth--less about the teacher (or event the student) and more about what God is up to.